Friday, January 9, 2009

Family emergency vs protocol

So, yesterday I took a spill. A pretty bad one. It was icy outside and I slipped while holding the baby and dropped him.

I was really dazed and terrified. Another cop's wife was there and she called my dh who was sleeping off a night shift. It was about 10:30am so he's only had about 5 hours of sleep.
20 minutes later he shows up and just barks at me in front of everyone there.
He was really mad that I didn't immediately go to the hospital since the baby had fallen and I was hurt. I was so embarrassed.

I know what his procedure would be, but I just needed him to take care of me. I didn't care about procedure. I was in pain, and scared because the baby was hurt.

He continued to chew me out on the way to the urgent care, telling me I knew better and I hadn't used any common sense etc. I've read a lot of police books and so the logical part of me recognizes that he was in cop mode and was showing his concern in the best way he could.

But, it still really hurt. I wish he would just turn it off once in awhile.

This was another reminder that while he cares very much about us and loves his family, we can't depend on him showing emotional support because frankly, he isn't always capable of it.

For the record, the baby had a concussion (I feel so guilty) and I'm pretty positive I broke my tailbone again. Now comes me sucking it up for the next few weeks while I heal and while dh tells me to "get over it".

Might come back and erase this post later. But I wanted to say it "out loud" for a second.