Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Attachment Parenting and Police Work

So, Big Daddy and I are hippies. We are total cloth diapering, breastfeeding (mostly me on that count), babywearing, cosleeping hippies.

I have noticed that few police families seem to really lean towards he attachment parenting style and it kind of surprises me.

I think what initially drew me to this style of parenting was when we had our second baby and I was thinking about grocery shopping and going to church without BD (because he was always on duty back them... at least it felt that way) and I needed to be able to do it on my own and be self sufficient. I invested in a better baby sling at that time and from there we just evolved into the die hard ap hippies we are now. (As I type this BD is snoring in bed with our 19 month old snuggled into him... our 19 month old who has never spent more than a few hours sleeping anywhere but in our bed since he was born.)

I think what draws BD and myself to the attachment parenting style is his job. Truly. He sees so many kids who are neglected, abused, mishandled and I think he wants to do it different with ours. We both know what a scary world this can be, so I think we want our family to be as tightknit as possible. We don't want our kids to be undisciplined and we are pretty attentive to their behavior (we are not afraid to use Love and Logic on them, lol!). But I see BD when he comes home all exhausted and cranky and it seems like the worse his day is, the more he just comes home, withdraws into our family bubble and just sits with us all together on the couch or the bed snuggling.

BD is a really tough guy, but I notice his soft spot is really his kiddos. Some nights when they're all asleep or cuddled up to him he will just look at me and say, "how anyone can ever hurt a child is beyond my understanding," and I can hear it choke him up a little bit. I love that about him and hate that about his job. I hate that he has to see such a rotten side of the world, but at the same time I am grateful that he uses it to appreciate his little wonkins more.

I'm curious to all of your parenting styles. Do you have a style? Has the JOB changed it at all?

List your blogs please

I need to fix my blogroll here, lol. Sorry I suck at that. Please comment with your blog address so I can add it.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

How do they do it!

Ok ok, so it's time I man up and post!!!! Looks like I'm gonna need a name for my cop hubby for this blog. Nat and Kimber, help me out with this one!

Anyway, so my hubby had an interesting day at work last week. He got a call on a suspicious vehicle and went to check it out. What he found would have haunted me for life!! I'm not real sure how much detail I can give so I better play it safe. Let's just say he smelled like "death" when he came home. I was expecting him to be down and out or a little disturbed..........Nothing. Just another day at work! Normal mood, just had to wash the old uni ALOT! I don't understand how they can just blow it off. But I guess they really don't have a choice! If they don't, their job gets the best of them and they are defeated, which is a man's worst fear I do believe!

People forget that our cops aren't out there just to write citations and catch people breaking the law. They have to deal with violence, death, and even the stupid things like chasing cows!!!!! I strongly believe that it takes a certain person to be a cop and I'm so glad that people, like my hubby, love their job despite these set backs. I love that my hubby is a cop and serves our county. We moved back to Idaho so he could do what he loves again! I'm proud of him and all the other cops in our little LEO family here. They have all been through so much and still stay true to themselves. I seriously don't know how they do it! And I am sure glad someone does! And I'm so proud that I live with one!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

"Nobody's above the law"

This is FH's motto while patrolling, but in our small town, that's a pretty big issue for some. He's pulled over church leaders, city workers, local "celebrities" (aka notable and fairly wealthy individuals) and neighbors. He's also pulled over family members of fellow officers, babysitters, and friends of mine. He would be right there with Hot Fuzz if he ever encountered this while patrolling.

To me, it's all just part of the job. If they were violating the law, they get pulled over and handled accordingly. Jokes go 'round that he cites everyone that he sees just for funsys, but in actuality, he issues far more warnings than citations on any given shift.

So what does this all mean when working the same small town that one lives in? Well, let's just say that we don't just keep our doors locked to keep the kiddies inside (though that's one reason). I've seen a different side of people that I've grown up with and known for years. Most surprising is the attitude change I've seen in people, including local family members.

My own mother thinks FH needs to lighten up and cut people breaks after being embarrassed repeatedly for citations he issued to her neighbors, co-workers or their children. I told her not to be embarrassed because they shouldn't have been breaking the law.

"Oh, brother," she exclaimed, and I think there was some eye rolling in there. "You need to lighten up too!"

She can't stand that he carries his gun even when he's not working and just hanging with the family. We have a family reunion coming up in another state and she's plead with me repeatedly to tell him not to wear his gun while at the reunion, stating, "I mean, how embarrassing is that? Who does he think he is that he needs to wear a GUN around family members?"

For those in the LEO-world, it's a no brainer. There is no sanctuary that "bad guys" cannot enter if they really want to. As his wife, I see it as FH taking his job seriously and wanting to "protect and serve" the community and above all else, his family, as it states on his patrol car.

I've tried explaining this simply to those I've known for so long thinking that LEO101 is all that they're missing and our relationships will resume. However, it falls on deaf ears because they can't understand or relate (even if it's my own mother, whom I've tried to have civilized conversations with multiple times regarding FH and she doesn't want to hear any explanations, which is extremely out of character for my patient, quiet mother).

I've realized that for others (those NOT in the LEO world), his patrol work and packing while off-duty is an aggressive show of power that is overused and overdone.

Can you relate? What have you encountered while being an LEO or spouse of one that surprised you in the community?

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Hard to quit when your family supports you

I really am at the end of my rope this week. This has been the hardest week in BD's career.
But, I can't just quit... BD and I have had too many members of our police family come to us and support us this week. It has been so great and I need to say thank you because we really really need the support right now.
So, thank you.

Ps. I posted my feelings the other day on my family blog here. I think we are still in that place.

PPs. if any of you did want to email with me, I wouldn't mind at all. post a comment with your email and I won't let it see light of day, I'll just email you.

Thank you police family near, far and cyber.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


Poke a fork in me, I am done.

Monday, July 6, 2009

I love my husband but sometimes I hate people

So, BD's vacation is over. 2+ weeks.
We loved it.
We fished, did yard work, shopped. BD... hold on, this is huge... WATCHED ALL THE KIDS FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES so I could go to Ballet class, meetings, coach soccer and all the other things I normally have to either rustle up a sitter for or take the her with me. We talked a lot, we did all sorts of fun family things. It was just plain fantastic. And it actually happened, which truly was a first. He has NEVER had a vacation actually happen in 5 years. Sure a day off here and there, but never a vacation. I loved it so much.

So, that was the wonderful. We are a tight family, but it was truly wonderful to have even more time together. The kids were so happy, I was so happy, he was so happy.

He did work July 3rd as they have a fireworks show in the county and the city officers usually help out with traffic. My guy was on bike patrol with Natalie's (honestly, they are inseparable) man, which worked out fine for us as BD saved me a spot at the show so I drove in right before it started and pulled right into my nifty spot, then I pulled out right before the show ended and got home in a few minutes. Got to hang with Nat, our guys and all that good stuff. Love my police family.

Here is the part I hate:

BD was directing traffic and some guy wanted to go straight where he couldn't and so BD directed him to turn. Lots of traffic, busy night, no biggie, right. Well, the guy spit at him. Nice.

Besides my initial mama bear thought of let me at the schmuck I just have to wonder... is not getting to go straight and having to turn (btw, if you knew that intersection you would know BD did the guy a favor because the guy would have driven into a parking lot he couldn't get out of and would have had to turn out the way BD told him to anyhow) worth spitting on someone? Really?

So, yay for vacation and boo for jerkwads.