Friday, February 26, 2010

Would You Arrest Me, Please?

The following true event just occurred today:

The officer is talking to the suspect, which quickly begins to flee. The officer informs the suspect, now criminal from fleeing the scene of crime, to stop or they'll be under arrest. The criminal quickly stops, turns around, then says, "Will you arrest me, please?"

Taken aback, the officer quickly comes to her senses and grabs the criminal's wrists.

"Don't forget the handcuffs."

The officer places the criminal in handcuffs then pushes him roughly through the door, stating in a gruff voice, "Get in there punk. Now turn around so I can search you for any weapons."

The criminal begins to giggle.

"Looks like your clean. What were you doing running away, then?"

By now, the criminal is giggling uncontrollably to answer. With his arms still pinned behind his back, he states,

"Officer, don't forget my sister."

"She's already laying down for a nap and if you don't watch it, that's right where you're heading, mister."

"OK, Officer. May I get my handcuffs off now and watch a movie?"

"Oh, OK." The invisible handcuffs are taken off. "Do you want some lunch right now, too?"

"Yes, please. With a drink."

So the officer heads to the kitchen to make the obliging criminal lunch (and drink) while putting a dinosaur movie on.

It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it. Just call me Officer Mom.

Friday, February 5, 2010

I am tired (I can do this)

I know I can do this and I will.
But I need to say this.

I am so tired.

BD has been called out every week since New Years Day.
More than once a week on occasion.
In the past 7 days he has worked over 30 hours over time.

I am not well today and honestly, it was one of those rare days when I was sick enough to be counting the seconds until he got home.

The phone just rang.

You guessed it.

I know I have the ability to do this and do it well.
But I am so tired.
I don't feel good at all.
I need to sleep.
I need to allow myself to be sick so I can recover.

Let me take this moment please.

I can do this.
I will do this.
This is fine and I am great at running point on the parenting front.
I can cover for his obligations tonight as I have a backup plan.
This is what I signed up for and I am so very capable of doing this.

Deep breath.
And... go.