Monday, March 29, 2010

Behind the Badge: A spouse’s job is just as tough

Behind the Badge: A spouse’s job is just as tough

This article is a little long, but worth the helps a lot. I love FISH and I trust his skills that they will keep him safe every day.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Having the LEO at Home

FH just finished a set of nights, but I've been so jumpy with him home! And not the newlywed kind.

Let me explain. I've been so used to doing the single parent thing, that it's hard to know what to do with him now that he has a few days off.

For example, I have a routine of putting the kids to bed, which seems as if it takes forever doing it alone, so I was totally pumped to get his help. Well, as soon as we came home from having dinner with the folks, I got right back into my solo routine and proceeded to put the kids to bed.

While emerging into the hall after getting a glass of water from the fridge, I did a scaredy-jumpy dance (foot stomp and all) seeing his form coming from another room. The kids had just gone to bed otherwise I probably would've shrieked like a little pansy.

He gave me a perplexed look then walked off. A little later that evening I got both of our toothbrushes ready, thinking it was nice that we could go to bed at the same time. But when he came in to grab his toothbrush, another scaredy-jumpy dance (foot stomp and all) occurred.

"What's the deal with you?"

"I don't know!" as I giggled sheepishly. He just rolled his eyes and brushed his teeth.

It's always hard for me to go to sleep when he's working nights wishing he was home (though I highly enjoy having the bed to myself being pregnant right now). I just didn't realize that I got use to it and tuned his presence out!

I love my husband, and I don't want him to think that we don't care about him because he's hardly ever home, yet in order to get tasks done I have to pretend it's just me. Little did I know that my imagination would make it a reality.

I wonder if part of this stems back to some psychological issue I had during my Barbie-playing days. After having a few Ken dolls melted by my brothers (definitely a story for another day), I just resigned to the fact that Ken was always away on business trips or in meetings while Barbie had girlfriends over and raised children.

I don't compare myself to Barbie (and wouldn't want to!), but why did I always make her "single yet married?"

I've been writing little love notes to FH on a chalkboard in our kitchen the last few months and have actually enjoyed sending him texts (never thought I'd see the day since I use to be so opposed to that form of technology). I know I'm married, I'm just use to being single.

I want FH to know I'm thinking about him, but when he's physically home, I end up doing a scaredy-jumpy dance (foot stomp and all).

Has anyone else had this happen to them? I think I need therapy.