Monday, March 22, 2010

Having the LEO at Home

FH just finished a set of nights, but I've been so jumpy with him home! And not the newlywed kind.

Let me explain. I've been so used to doing the single parent thing, that it's hard to know what to do with him now that he has a few days off.

For example, I have a routine of putting the kids to bed, which seems as if it takes forever doing it alone, so I was totally pumped to get his help. Well, as soon as we came home from having dinner with the folks, I got right back into my solo routine and proceeded to put the kids to bed.

While emerging into the hall after getting a glass of water from the fridge, I did a scaredy-jumpy dance (foot stomp and all) seeing his form coming from another room. The kids had just gone to bed otherwise I probably would've shrieked like a little pansy.

He gave me a perplexed look then walked off. A little later that evening I got both of our toothbrushes ready, thinking it was nice that we could go to bed at the same time. But when he came in to grab his toothbrush, another scaredy-jumpy dance (foot stomp and all) occurred.

"What's the deal with you?"

"I don't know!" as I giggled sheepishly. He just rolled his eyes and brushed his teeth.

It's always hard for me to go to sleep when he's working nights wishing he was home (though I highly enjoy having the bed to myself being pregnant right now). I just didn't realize that I got use to it and tuned his presence out!

I love my husband, and I don't want him to think that we don't care about him because he's hardly ever home, yet in order to get tasks done I have to pretend it's just me. Little did I know that my imagination would make it a reality.

I wonder if part of this stems back to some psychological issue I had during my Barbie-playing days. After having a few Ken dolls melted by my brothers (definitely a story for another day), I just resigned to the fact that Ken was always away on business trips or in meetings while Barbie had girlfriends over and raised children.

I don't compare myself to Barbie (and wouldn't want to!), but why did I always make her "single yet married?"

I've been writing little love notes to FH on a chalkboard in our kitchen the last few months and have actually enjoyed sending him texts (never thought I'd see the day since I use to be so opposed to that form of technology). I know I'm married, I'm just use to being single.

I want FH to know I'm thinking about him, but when he's physically home, I end up doing a scaredy-jumpy dance (foot stomp and all).

Has anyone else had this happen to them? I think I need therapy.


Rebecca said...

Having a husband especially a LEO who works nights does put one in a league of their own. I totally understand the way you feel having FH home. For us, while it's nice to have The Mr. home it does through things off a bit. Things seem to take longer to get accomplished. What I mean is the home's scheduling get's botched up a bit. It's both good and bad. I too enjoy the bed all to myself. ha ha :-) Furthermore The Mr. snores and so I love sleeping in the big bed with no snoring. I think it's perfectly OK to love your 'single parent' life because let's face it - it really boils down to that kind of life style. (at least for us - especially when The Mr. works extra) Sadly it almost seems like staying at home is a full-time job and our time with The Mr. is a part time gig. I guess it's the price we pay so bills can get paid and I'm able to stay home raising our babies :-)
PS love the dance thing. Must be super cute with the belly bump ;-) ha ha.

Momma Val said...

TOTALLY.GET.IT!!! Often easier when he is not there cause you get to doing things with such a routine YOUR way then they are home and something like a wrench in the works! After mine is off I seriously need several days to get the routine and house back to my and kids order. To be totally honest, often times he brings so much stress and tension to the house it's easier when he is gone and we are missing him. Know that may sound sooooo terrible to some leow's but many that I have talked to agree. Cops have alot of stress which leaches to the family and when they are home and around you for a few days, OY!

I think that it is always good to pretend you are solo. LEOW or not, if you are so dependent that you cannot function alone, what will you do if they die on duty or leave you for someone else? Always good in every phase of life to try your very best to do as much as possible by yourself. Never know when you might need to live like that. You do not need therapy, you're just pregnant and your emotions are heightened with all them hormones :) lol

Natalie said...

Thanks for being able to relate so well! As much as we love him, FH does throw the groove off at times, completely unbeknownst to him.

Rebecca--Yea, my hubby gets the biggest kick out of my scaredy-foot stomp dance, he just couldn't believe that I did it simply by having him in the room!

MommaVal--Thanks for letting me know I'm not crazy (ooh, those pregnancy hormones, though!). It's such a relief to have your honesty. Thanks for being such a great blogging friend!

Mrs. Deputy said...

I hear Ya. Half the week Im a single parent and the other half while I enjoy him being home it ruins the kids routine.

Snickering Corpses said...

While I can't speak for the married part, the scaredy-foot-stomp dance is perfectly normal. It's not him you're triggering on, it's an unexpected presence. There's not normally someone there, so the body simply reacts to the abnormal presence with a threat response before the brain catches up and identifies.

My dad works at home, so he's there pretty much 24/7 except for the occasional meeting or errand, yet he can still startle my mom to a shriek if he walks through a door when she thinks he's in the office working.

And yeah, what Momma Val said about the pregnancy hormones probably multiplies that several times over. :)

April E. :) said...

I totally hear ya! Husby works mids and I am just set in my routine. We haven't been blessed with kiddos yet, so it's just me and the pups...and I am a night owl. So I stay up late and get so much done after he leaves for work. On the nights he is home it's like he slows me down and makes me work around him. It has caused some tension, but more because I just needed to learn how to accept and enjoy when he IS home in the evening instead of moving on in my normal routine. It can be very hard though. So I don't think you are crazy, I totally get it...even without kiddos! :)
Glad I dropped by!

Natalie said...

Thanks for the helpful responses, yet again!

Mrs. Deputy-- Yup, love having him home, hate the routine disruption.

Snickering Corpses--Thanks for breaking down the process for me. It totally makes sense now!

April E--I know exactly what you mean about getting so much done when he's not there, which is rather ironic. I usually feel like everything would go so much faster if he was home, and it's usually AFTER I put the kiddies to bed that my objectives get accomplished.

BunnyO said...

Ah! This post has me giggling so hard. I'm jumpy, too. Hubs just started doing afternoons again for the first time in a long time. Most nights I put the kids to bed and (dang it) fall asleep on the couch waiting for him. He sends me a sweet little text message when he's pulling in that says, "It's me Buns - Don't shoot!". The text wakes me up and makes me smile just as he's walking through the door :)

MONICA-LnP said...

I'm so with you on this.the dh works the overlap shift 4pm-2am and on his RDO's I have to make sure to go to bed before he does cause his snoring drives me bonkers and yeah I can't seem to get anything done in the house when he's home,up,in my way,not sleeping and I seem to eat a lot more when he's around.

jackie said...

When my husband is home, it totally throws me off. Like April E said, it's like I have to work around him. I've mentioned it to him, but he doesn't really understand what I mean. He thinks I just don't want him home, but that's not true.